Saturday, March 3, 2012

The post where I act like an iPhone fan boy then review a game

Hello again, internet friends.

It's been about a month since my last post. I apologize.

I recently purchased an iPhone, joining the ranks of hipsters and teen girls everywhere. Admittedly, I am madly in love with the device. (Almost) everything is so much simpler on the iPhone, compared to the comparatively antiquated BlackBerry I was using before.

But this post isn't a commercial for Apple, so I digress.

In an effort to explore my newfound mobile freedoms, I've been trying out a handful of mobile games. To this point my history with mobile games has been less than memorable. Aside from the occasional, mindless board game port, I can safely say I have hated nearly every game I have ever paid to play on a 2 inch screen (I'm not sure why I didn't see that coming).

*Insert a smooth segue to a game review.*

Warfare Inc.

This one may be kind of a softball review, as the game is, according to its website, "the critically acclaimed and best selling mobile real time strategy (RTS) game of all time!!!"

I could probably end the review here, as the three exclamation points pretty much let you know you're in good hands.

Basically, I was really craving an RTS to play on my phone, and after downloading a bunch, this one seemed to be the best. The easiest way to describe Warfare Inc. is to say "Hey, did you every play Starcraft? Yes? Well, imagine cramming the graphics onto your cell phone and getting interrupted by texts in the middle of getting zerged."

Add the Zerg, the Protoss, and better graphics. Simmer until golden brown.

Well, maybe that wasn't the easiest way... I'll let Warfare Inc. do my job for me:
"Warfare Incorporated is set in a future ruled by super corporations engaged in no-holds-barred competition for the resources of the galaxy. The action centers around the newly discovered planet Icarus with its astounding mineral wealth and mysterious alien relics. Players take the role of a junior executive at the underdog ACME Exploration Corporation, discoverer of Icarus, and work their way up the corporate ladder by demonstrating their strategic and tactical skills in a campaign of increasingly challenging missions. Early missions concentrate on resource gathering and combat with ACME's chief rival OMNI Industries and as the game develops other factions and the power of the alien technologies come into play."
So, we know what the game is; but is it fun to play? Yes (mostly). The game, while addictive and challenging in all the ways an RTS game should be, lacks personality. Instead of Jim Raynor as your protagonist, you have some dopey looking guys in suits and bowties.

P.S. Do you like my bowtie?

Realistically, the game is a probably your best bet if you're looking for a true RTS game on your mobile device. Even though Starcraft did it better, Warfare Inc. did it portably, which is good enough for me.

Graphics - 2/10
The graphics remind me of Bone Storm. Yes, that Bone Storm.

Wow, and all I did was enter my name; Thrillhouse.

Playability - 8/10
The game was pretty simple and straightforward. The touch screen controls work well for an RTS game. Units default to moving single file, leading to many untimely and frustrating massacres.

Difficulty - 8/10
Admittedly, I was getting stomped by OMNI jerks by level three. But, I have to assume that anyone who has had the game for more than a week would fare a little better.

Replay Value - 9/10
RTS games are always good for maximum replay value.

Overall - 7/10